


watching all the time

by afrocurl



Series: hospital beds [4]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, Blow Jobs, Emotionally Crippled Erik, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-04
Updated: 2013-10-04
Packaged: 2017-12-28 09:12:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/990293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afrocurl/pseuds/afrocurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik feels as if he's been letting Charles down in bed and finds a way to make up for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	watching all the time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ikeracity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikeracity/gifts).



> Happiest of birthdays to **ikeracity**!

There’s still a restless feeling in his chest - on the dull side, but still present - that follows Erik around the next morning. He’s grateful, extremely so, to Charles for being a comfort in a moment of blinding panic and anxiety, and as he remembers Charles’ warm hands helping him into sleep the night before, he’s also reminded of of the boy that Charles had been, who did the same.

Last night was about Charles taking care of him, and the same is true for the first time they'd met. It rankles - just a bit - to think of himself as being dependent on someone else, but there was always something in Charles that helped.

Charles has been the one to suggest they start dating after that meeting in the hospital, just as Charles has been the one to suggest most of their sexual activities.

Is Erik that passive?

He knows that he’s never been passive. Shaw had tried to beat that out of him as soon as CPS left the house, and in the hazy memories of his parents, he knew he had tried their patience.

But now, he seems to settle into Charles’ patterns and Charles’ whims.

Charles has never said he dislikes that Erik follows his lead, but Erik thinks on it further and wants to try something different.

-

When he knows that there’s work to be done, Erik daydreams of how and what he could do to be a bit more like Charles.

It’s nothing as simple as just taking control one night in bed, but it could be.

Charles has this ease at which he does everything, or at least the appearance of it. Erik still struggles to find his own voice - having spent so many years being held down by Shaw’s influence. He knew his anger and rage, of course, but he still feels as if he doesn’t know the other side of his heart - pure love.

Of course, he loves Anya, but he loved Magda and that ended badly.

He loves Charles, and always has, but what they share now is different from what they had as boys.

A small part of his mind still can’t think how they moved from boyhood friends into adult lovers. 

That fact has to be his hangup: the force holding him back from being more like Charles.

-

It’s unfair to distance himself from Charles in the aftermath of his panic attack, but he does so that he can know himself. 

He begs off dinners out for the sake of time with Anya and Charles, even through the phone, radiates a low-level of concern.

“I promise, I’ll make it up to you in a week or two. I just want to be with Anya,” he says when Charles tries to protest again.

He’s hiding from Charles, he knows, but he needs the time to think and to act on what they mean to each other.

There’s a large part of him that hopes Charles won’t say anything about Erik’s obfuscation.

-

In the time that he spends with Anya, Erik realizes a few things about his life with Charles: one, that he loves Charles more than he can put into words; two, that he has limited experience when it comes to show another man love; and three, his libido is about to go into overdrive in the time he hasn’t been with Charles.

Charles, who is careful and concerned when it comes to what they do in their rooms.

All of those have made him aware of what he wants to show Charles when they finally have dinner again on Saturday.

-

By the time that Friday night comes around, Erik’s a nervous wreck. He’s been avoiding talking to Charles at all costs, and trying to focus on what he wants to do on their date, well more after dinner than during dinner.

Through means that he’s almost ashamed of, Erik has a collection of porn to watch, just to help him.

It feels a bit silly to watch two men get off to help him learn how to get Charles off that way, but Charles has already been so generous with his time and his patience that Erik feels as if he owes it to Charles.

Part of him thinks it’s a stupid idea to reciprocate in that way when Charles knows that Erik’s still new to the idea of sleeping with a man and has made no complaints about what they’ve done.

But there’s the part that wants to be the one that Charles needs - the one Charles wants.

More than an hour has passed in which Erik’s mentally debated with himself and he extends his powers to check that Anya’s sleeping and when he knows that the apartment is quiet, except for him, he clicks one of the links Emma sent him and starts to watch.

The first one was no more than one man all but eat another man’s cock as if it were a sausage. Erik nearly stops the video and gives up on the whole idea. Emma wouldn’t steer him wrong, so he clicks out of that one and tries another.

This one has more ambiance and sets up as with an actual movie. It’s easy to watch it, Erik finds, as he cares about the lives of people who live in a fast-paced world like his. He isn’t sure if this is the best choice when he sees two men playing in a pool and in the ocean, but later, he sees one of them getting off on a deck chair before a very interesting blow job. Or maybe it’s not a blowjob so much as foreplay. But there’s some technique that Erik hasn’t thought about much. 

He keeps watching, even though the scene changes and finds that for porn there’s so much love and adoration between the two men. They can’t seem to get enough of each other, and Erik wants that for himself and Charles.

He wants so much now that he thinks about the world where he and Charles are together again.

-

As soon as he walks into the restaurant, Erik feels Charles’ mental presence, is nearly bombarded by Charles’ feelings. After being away from it for a week, Charles’ emotions and appreciation for Erik are nearly overpowering, but he finds the over exuberance relaxing and welcoming.. 

_Miss me?_ Erik asks as he walks towards Charles, who looks as if he wants to jump out of his seat and meet Erik halfway.

Erik gets something like a mental laugh in response and Charles smiles, the smile he knows scares everyone except Erik - Charles’ smile is not as menacing as Erik’s, though it looks innocent, there’s an undercurrent of some undeniable strategy and play as if Charles were a cat looking innocent before pouncing on kill. So far, it’s clear that Charles’ emotions are getting the better of him, but it shows Erik just how much Charles has felt their separation this week.

By the time he sits down, Charles has a wide smile plastered to his face and is radiating happiness and contentment.

“I might have missed you,” Charles says as soon as he knows that Erik’s understood every emotion from Charles’ earlier display.

“I’m sorry to do that, but I wanted to figure something out,” Erik says just as he rubs a foot against one of Charles’.

 _Are you going to make it up to me?_ It sounds a bit fuzzy through Charles’ voice, but Erik understands Charles’ impatience. Erik’s been suffering from something similar, though he has realized that his desire to be with Charles could codify his own desires, at least if his night with all the porn says anything.

Erik stops his thoughts about last night before Charles might pick up on them, and decides to focus on Charles and their date.

\- 

As he leads Charles into his empty apartment, Erik has a moment of doubt, though not about Charles. He feels horrible about leaving Anya with Emma for the night, but he also knows he feels worse for having left Charles alone for the week.

Erik will happily sacrifice his daughter’s mental health for what he plans to do to Charles.

 _Stop thinking about Anya,_ Charles says, as he reaches up to kiss Erik. It’s a subtle start, just Charles’ lips against Erik’s own. Charles presses forward into it, and Erik has to feel for all the metal around the two of them to keep them upright.

 _Keep this up and I will,_ Erik adds just as he feels settled and can respond to Charles’ ministrations. Charles is all but rooted to Erik’s chest and Erik gets a heady feeling from it.

It takes a few minutes for Erik to maneuver them into his room, and when they arrive, Erik feels proud that he managed to get Charles’ jacket and shirt off before now.

 _Don’t be so smug_ , Charles says when he feels Erik’s satisfaction. In response, Erik nips at Charles’ neck and takes a quick pinch against Charles’ flank. _Now who’s playing dirty?_ Charles asks.

 _I never claimed to be anything else_ , Erik says as he uses his powers to undo their belts and zippers. Erik knows that Charles has been slow and sure before, but tonight he feels as if the week apart was more than just a time for discovery, but a time of anticipation.

Charles moans as Erik continues to suck against pale skin and just as Erik’s sure that Charles is distracted, Erik reaches into Charles’ pants and palms at Charles’ hardening erection.

 _You don’t have--_ Charles starts, but the mental sentence stops as soon as Erik rubs against Charles again.

 _I want to_ , is all Erik says in reply, as he keeps his hand against Charles erection. Only a few moments, Charles is naked underneath him. In the pale light of Erik’s room, Charles is gorgeous, and Erik relishes in the way that Charles has come undone so quickly.

Shifting to better look at Charles’ eagerness, Erik settles closer to Charles’ legs and starts, slowly but purposefully, to fondle Charles’ erection. It’s nothing like working himself up, he realizes as Charles’ hips thrust up and again at will, but it’s more like the porn he watched before.

“Beautiful,” Erik says before he licks at Charles’ leaking head. He takes an inch or so into his mouth, breathing heavy against Charles and just as Charles moans again, Erik takes more into his mouth.

He’s unsure of the exact pressure to apply, but he feels Charles’ arousal grow and every now and then he mentally hears, _less suction, more pressure_ and _your mouth, amazing, don’t stop_.

Erik does as best he can, only coming off Charles’ cock for air and as he feels Charles fall closer and closer to the edge, he feels his own erection straining his boxer-briefs. He grinds himself against the bed as he continues to work Charles over. When Charles starts to pull back, Erik does the same and takes his hand around Charles to bring him off. Charles’ come feels warm against his skin, and it takes him a few more slow but steady pulls for Charles to be sated. 

“Thank you,” Charles says hoarsely, though he’s radiating satisfied pleasure, mixed with the idea of _baptism by blowjob_. Erik uses that as he brings himself off against Charles’ leg, egged on by Charles’ appreciation of his work and the sight of Charles’ blissful smile. 

“No, thank you,” Erik says before he pulls himself closer to Charles’ face, disregarding the sticky feeling against his skin and underwear. 

They stay there for a few moments, content to relax next to each other. 

Erik says nothing about what prompted his actions tonight, and he knows that Charles won’t ask. 

Time will wait for that revelation. 

Just like they have waited for each other. 

**Author's Note:**

> Erik's watching [this](http://lalujuriadelcorazon.tumblr.com/post/53421120896/gay-porn-warning-keep-scrolling-if-not) video when he gets to it.
> 
> Title comes from Fiona Apple's "Red Red Red".
> 
> Many thanks to **ninemoons42** for the beta. At this point, any mistakes are my own.
> 
> There are now two more parts to this series, which will be posted in short order.


End file.
